Dylan's Pet Rock!
by PinkxXxPoisonxXxLemonade
Summary: Hmmm...I dont want to give everything away in this other then Dylan gets a pet..thats a rock..and Hiei and Kurama sleep together..maybe...nah..yea..muwhahahaha. READ ON! This is only a two-shot! The voices in my head say no more then two chappies....Tacos
1. Lettuce begin! Muwhahahahaa!

Dylan smiled happy at her pets. Hiei the wolf puppy grinned at her while wagging his tail, Yukina the kitten meowed gently and Gary the rock pee'd on the carpet. "Ahh!! No Gary! Bad Gary bad!" Dylan picked up the rock and carried it against her lime green hoodie out her door and to the elevator a crossed the hall from her bedroom. Cheesy music played from above as if heaven was having a lame party, Dylan just grinned and danced along to the tuneless music. Once the metal doors binged and slid open, our favorite insane girl ran down the fourth floor hallway screaming bloody murder before she threw Gary at Hiei's bedroom door. Gary slowly slid down leaving a greenish yellow trail of slime behind. Hiei opened the door and stared at the door and the snot like slime before staring at the rock named Gary and the insane girl named Dylan.

"What do you want?" "Gary." The fire demon raised an eyebrow at the girl before speaking slowly as if she was stupid...which she was. "What?" "Gary." "Who the hell is Gar-" "Gary needs a diaper!" Hiei froze in place for a moment before looking at the rock that was now in Dylan's slime covered hands. "…That's a rock….covered in slime." Dylan blinked her eyes twelve times exactly before looking at Gary, Then at Hiei. Then Gary again. Quickly, she threw said rock at Hiei's head who didn't get a chance to dodge.

"Gary is not a rock!! Cuz…you're a rock! Yea!!" Dylan screamed. Kurama who had heard everything, walked out of Hiei's room wiping the blood out of his bleeding eardrum. Dylan stared at him with her mouth open gaping like a cussing fish. Kurama looked at the crazy girl confused and Hiei…well…he was in Lala-anti-Dylan-land! After a few more fishy cuss words, Dylan screamed at the top of her lungs which was lung enough to wake up Poison-Chan in the morning. "Oh my me!! Kurama impregnated Hiei last night and now they are gonna have a freaky baby named after Buba!!!" Kurama and Hiei's eyes snapped open wide, both yelling at the same time that it was true at all. Dylan ignored them as she ran into her bedroom that was simply down the hall to think of a way to tell everyone in the three worlds at once.

Hiei and Kurama were silent for a moment before looking down were they either sighed or Hn'ed at Gary the rock. A plan appearing in our favorite fire demons mind with an evil grin on his face. Quickly he whispered the plan into Kurama's ear even though they could have screamed it and Dylan wouldn't have noticed. "Think it would work Hiei?" Kurama asked in an unsure voice. Hiei only smirked. "It's worth a shot."

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Shortest....story...Ive ever....written. XD But this is just a two shot with the second chappie about 2,000 words to make up for this one. =D But this was just a think of randomness i thought of in Science class...which im not sure how a pet rock came into my mind...we're studying the human body is alot of detail so its weird....ANYWAYS! I should post the next one soon!! Otherwise, Buh bye meh luffies!!!


	2. Cheese Gods and Ramen of DOOM!

Dylan had it figured out. She would inform the stuffed animal union and they would carry out the information to all the household S.A.'s. They in turn, will inform their human and or demon owners about Kurama and Hiei. The three worlds plus fairyland must know the truth!! Dylan laughed evilly with Hiei and Yukina the animals shaking their fur covered heats at their owner.

_"Bark bark."_ She's crazy.

_"Mew rawr."_ Yes, I've noticed.

_"Bark bark bark arf woof woof HOWL!"_ Same.

_"Mew."_ Have you ever noticed at she's even crazier when her plans involve Hiei the demon?

_"Woof woof Baaaaaa gurgle."_ Yes.

The two animals ended their conversation to watch Dylan talk to a green bear with an arm ripped off. Dylan calmed it was a casualty of war with thee gnomes.

Outside her bedroom where her security cameras couldn't see, Hiei and Kurama placed the final touches to their plan. "I don't know if Dylan will fall for this…" "Hn, is she stupid and crazy fox?" "Well yes." "Then she'll fall for it." Hiei smirked evilly at the trap of certain doom. No wait, **DOOM!!!** Kurama rolled his eyes at the authoress who laughs evilly before walking towards Dylan's bedroom door. When he was about to knock, Dylan pulled open the door and swiftly looked aside to side down the halls. "If it's the girl scouts I'll cut off your toes then eat them with pickles- Oh! Ello Wonder Boy! Long time no…well…Long time!!" Kurama AKA Wonder Boy raised an eyebrow at the crazy girls girl scout statement before looking behind her into her room where a army of stuffed animals with the green bear in the from sat on her floor next to Hiei and Yukina the pets. "Uhhmmm….could you…maybe….come out into the hallway for…just a moment or two?" Dylan smiled innocently without a single thought in that empty head of hers as she skipped out of her doorway and into the hall. There in the middle of the hall was a most shocking of sights.

Dangling three feet on a thin chain over a boiling pot of cheese was Gary the rock. Certain for a fate of DOOM. The once happy look that Dylan had painstakingly drawn onto his face with a magic marker was replaced with a look of panic with a sharpie taken from Dylan's room when she was distracted by a sandwich. Tears collected and threatened to spill over from Dylan's wide eyes in a dramatic way with her hands placed over her mouth in a silent gasp. She stood perfectly still like that for exactly ten seconds without a single tear falling from her eyes before she quickly placed her left hand on her hip and the right hand on her aqua hair, a sexy grin appearing. Ten seconds later she did yet another different pose for the invisible camera and camera man. Dylan got three more poses in before she got hit in the head with a shiny spoon thrown by Hiei. "Pay attention to the damn rock!" "What rock?" Kurama and Hiei sweat dropped at the confused look on the girls face. Looking down, before either of the boys could say something to distract her five minute memory, Dylan picked up the spoon. "Squeal! A spoon!" Kurama raised a wonder boy-ish eyebrow at the stupid girl. "Did you just say sequel?" Dylan nodded her head quickly, memorized by the shininess' of the spoon and its powers. Meanwhile, Hiei and Kurama where having a nice mental chat in their heads together.

_It's not working Hiei._

_Because she's stupid. To stupid._

_True._

_So what do we do?_

_I don't know._

_You're real helpful._

_Yes, I know. I am great._

_Liar. _

_Maybe. SO what if we called Yusuke and Kuwabara from help?_

_We can try._

_Yes._

_Quite._

_Possibly._

_Mmhmm._

_Yea._

_Who's talking?_

_Not sure._

_I think I'm Kurama…_

_Then I must be Hiei._

_No wait, I'm Hiei._

_Hmm, that sounds right._

_Yes._

_Quite._

They ended their little chatty chat chat chat to see Dylan petting the spoon and talking to it about her world domination plans. It involved a lot of vodka so far. The boys shivered in fear as Kurama who had thought he was Hiei for a while but is really Kurama whipped out his cell phone with that cool sound effect.

Ring. Ring Ring. Riiiing. Beep. Ding Dong! Woop Woop Woop! "Hello?" "Yusuke! How would you and Kuwabara like to help with a plan against Dylan-" "Kuwabara and I will be right over!!" Clicky! Kurama blinked his eyes and shrugged. "Everyone wants to help against Dylan it seems." Hiei smirked at this while Dylan was not trying to eat the spoon by successfully shoving the whole thing down her throat. Not so suddenly, she started to choke. No one noticed or they didn't care. Other then the boiling pot of cheese, silent screaming rock, world domination stuffed animals in Dylan's bedroom and Dylan herself gagging loudly, it was silent. Scary.

A few seconds later, Yusuke and Kuwabara ran inside the house, ran up all the stairs and looked around. "Quick!! Someone tell me the plan!" Yusuke stopped to look at our favorite psycho turn a deep shade of purple. "Awww, you guys killed her already without us?" Kurama turned to look at the girl like he just noticed then shook his head. "No. Not yet. Trust me." The five year old pout on Yusuke's face disappeared into a grinning smirk just like Dylan's. "Okay, what's the plan?" "Make Dylan swear on all that is Doom and stuff not to say an annocement to the three worlds by what I believe to be a stuffed animal army in her bedroom." Kuwabara blinked stupidly at Kurama. "Wow, that sounds-" He was cut off by Dylan's memory fading again, the spoon destroyed in her stomach by all the sugar and caffeine she eats every twenty minutes and who finally noticed the pot of cheese with Gary handing above. "Quick!! The cheese god needs a scarf ice!!!" Dylan picked up Kuwabara, lifting him over her head before throwing him into the boiling cheese. As soon as Kuwabara fell into the cheese screaming like my cousin when I push her off the roof, Dylan jumped onto the top of his head that was above cheese levels. Pushing him even farther into the yellow orange grave. There, Dylan had a tear-filled reunion with Gary. "Gary! Did you hear all tat or do I have to repeat myself?" Dylan quoted her hero Sponge bob and his love Gary. Gary the rock said nothing and the panicked look was still drawn onto his face.

Under Dylan and Gary the rock, Kuwabara had sunk to the bottom and cheese was covering her thigh high toe socks that didn't match. "Ewwwwww It's sticky…" Dylan grinned and just jumping up and down. Kurama and Hiei where watching this a few feet away with a sweat drop yet amused face. Yusuke was to busy chanting an African thingy to summon the devil to Drag Dylan to the pits of hell with him. He he was lucky, Hiei would be dragged along as well. That's when he remembered what Dylan had said before about her being God and Hiei being the Devil meaning it wouldn't work so he just sat down and watched Dylan dance on Kuwabara's head.

~;~;~;~;~:~This is the part of the movie you fast forward through since it's so boring to get to the next part set a few days later with a song playing in the background.~;~;~;~;~;~

Dylan grinned as she cuddled with Gary on the sofa in the living while watching a blank TV and laughing. Hiei and Kurama were wondering what mental disease she had and Yusuke was sleeping. Kuwabara, he was avoiding Dylan for the next month. Hiei was happy since he lived with her.

~;~;~;~;~;~This is also the part of the movie where the end comes in-

**"HOLD IT MISSY!!!"**

Dylan glared at the Authoress who was drinking her Strawberry-lime Jones and Orange Full Throttle with ramen. "Eh?" Dylan shook her head. "It can't end there!! It's only been 1354 words!! What about the 2 thousand words you promised in the first chapter and the promise to me that all the chapters in What The would be twice as long?!" Poison rubbed the back of her neck with a small grin on. Her glasses falling to the tip of her nose. "Ehe. Sorry, I was stick for a week and for the last week I've been catching up on homework and the Book I'm written. Plus I still have this cough…" Dylan rolled her eyes then took her ramen from Poison. "No ramen until its 2K words Missy!!!" Poison pouted before sighing and returning to the world of Fanfic.

Dylan blinked and looked around as Gary fell off of her chest. "Did I just talk to some crazy girl with bangs that covered her forehead and glasses completely in all black? Or…was I dreaming?!" She gasped and ran to the window to look for said girl with swifty eyes as Kurama just rolled her eyes. "I think you need some sleep Dylan." Dylan turned and pointed a finger at a lamp. "I do not Wonder Boy!! I Ish perfectly okies with the penguins of X-54 running a marathon! Sleep would bring back the ham sandwich you fiend!!!" Hiei raised an eyebrow to this as she tipped side to side from lack of sleep in seven weeks. Finally her just picked Dylan up by the feet and dragged her all the way to the third floor were her bedroom was, not caring at she hit her head and was bleeding on every stair until he threw her on her bed. "Sleep." With that said, Hiei slammed the door on the bloody Dylan and locked the door.

Poison grinned as she ate her ramen and laughed at her own creation. "MUWHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOL!!! You are to be punished in the liar of **DOOM**!!! Muwhahahahahaha!!!"

Holy slam hell!! XD I did it!! 2 thousand words yayyy!! And MORE randomness in this. o.e Sorry I hadnt updated in....FOREVER AND SEVEN DAYS!! What isaid ealier was true. I was really really sick. I missed a week of school and on Wenesday of this week I whent to Colorado to get a chain on my braces so no teeth hurt and im hungry. (can only ear ramen and ice cream :P) BUT I am happy to post this. This was fun to write and Ive missed Dylan and then all so much in the past few weeks and Ive missed my faithful readers too!!! ;~; But I did get really nice reviews while I was gone so I smiled. =D AND!!! I got to 1 thousand Hits on What The!! WOOHOOO!!!! I feel so happy!!! ^_^  
Because of that, I should be posting a new chapter that like i said before should be twice as long but i may have to wait afew more days to do that with me moving ym computer to my new house and all in a week. Okay! The bunnies of **DOOM** say thank chu and I LOVES CHU ALL!!!!

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